I am a girl, study in a military academy, we usually go out. The school Prohibits us from wearing military uniforms outside school. Once I went out in military uniform with two roommates, then two four-year-old girls pointed at us and said: "Mom, look, the female uncle of the Liberation Army, the female uncle of the Liberation Army!"

I want to eat cookies when I go online today and ask her to get a bag. After eating, ask her to get another bag. She answered: "Don't need to take it anymore. I know you're voracious. I brought you two bags!" After saying that, she pulled out another bag from behind... Voracious mom is under great pressure!

  In the morning, Dad said to Dodo (a kindergarten girl):    "Today is Valentine's Day, you are my last life's little lover, so I will wait for you at the school gate, let's celebrate Valentine's Day together.", "I want to draw, I have no time to accompany you," Duo answered." "Then I'll wait all the time.", Dad still insists! At that time, Dodo looked into his father's eyes and calmly answered:    "Let's not to talk about the past life!"

The kindergarten is on vacation, I took my daughter back and forth to live in the countryside. An old cat I raised in high school is old enough to lose its teeth. It's too slow to catch mice, so it's all fed by my mother. My daughter did not see a cat, she especially likes the cat. Everyone knows that the cat will be buried after pulling, but my daughter can not bear to it. Every time when the cat pulled, she will dig out and throw the toilet, so the cat was following my daughter and miaowing. After I explained that it was a good hygienic habit for cats sever times, she finally stopped digging. When I got up in the morning, I found my daughter wrapped her stools in a paper towel. Then she took the cat to bury it. When she buried it, she turned over the cat's previous stools. The poor old cat had to toss around on the ground for more than two hours before cleaning up the scene.

The story background:   Being in Wuhan, wearing high heels for   the first time...  If   you are living in Wuhan, then you know that the bus in Wuhan is more speeding   than the speeding party, so I finally got on the bus and the fifth brake fell   magnificently to the left side, the whole person fell down in the bus aisle,   left foot sprained for half a day and could not climb up... Of course, this   is not the point ... The Point was the car that immediately went to the arch bridge   of Jianghan Bridge, so I wasn't able to get up yet!    I started to slide down!  Slide from the front to the middle door!  When   I got off the bridge, I slid from the middle door to the front of the car   again!    The people on the bus laughed wildly.  It wasn't until Xinhua Bookstore Station   that I was lifted up!  And someone recorded...

（My younger sister lives in the countryside. She keeps two Tibetan mastiffs <not pure>, two German shepherd dog, and they get along well. In summer, she loves to take them to swim by the river with her father. This is the background of the story.） One hot day, the dog grew hairy and was afraid of the heat. Dad, I, and his dog set out to the river again. I wore a white dress.  When the other dogs and dogs are happy to go into the water by the river. The Tibetan mastiff's fur is absorbent and afraid of sinking, it's wandering nearby. Because those big dogs are relatively rare,  many people come around to watch the dogs, not too close. There were many handsome brothers.  I am near the dog by the river. Dad is chatting with people in the distance. I love to see many people and splash water with the dog. At first, I was very proud. A bunch of children on the other side were jealous and jealous.  Ha, I'm the master, it must obey obediently! Speaking of joy...

The math teacher in Grade One of Senior One is a newly graduated college student. Usually, we have all kinds of noises in class. He is also used to it. One day when he came into the classroom, he saw that we were all quiet, then he threw back his head and laugh loudly. "Why are you so quiet? Have you taken the wrong medicine?" ... "Ha ha ha ha..." Then he watched that the headmaster was sitting in the back, he was messing up.

There is a school girl who I don't know old was. After the mobile phone was confiscated, she grabbed it from the director. She ran in front. The director chased after her and went to the door of the class. She slammed the phone on the ground and slammed it. The director said: "OK, well done. This is all right!" After the director left, the sister picked up the phone and said while Assembling: "Fortunately, I Disassembled the phone fast enough when I was running ran..."

I and my mother watch TV at home. On the TV is Wu Yanzu’s "Single Men and Women"... I pointed to Wu Yanzu and asked my mother: "Mom, do you know who this man is?"  My mom said: " I don't know."  I: "You don't know this. This is a lot of Chinese women's dream lovers. How handsome!"  My mother looked down on her face: "Not handsome at all."  I asked: "Who do you think is best handsome man?"  My mother said arbitrarily: "Bao Gong!"  I: "Ah! Bao Gong?! Who that Bao is?"  My mother: "The man who is the protagonist in ‘Bao Qingtian's youth'"  I:...

Going home from the Dragon Boat Festival, the next morning, my mother said to me sneakingly, telling you something horrible. "Ok?" "I have a scorpion on the balcony..." "what?" "The horror is that it is gone now..." ...... At the end, she insisted that I don't talk to my dad... Are you really my mother?

My mother called me and said she was going to buy me a car to drive! My frightened chin dropped and I asked her, "Where is so much free money at home? And I don't have a driver's license! " She said to me in a bad mood, "You have to be equipped to make a good start! Lest neighbors say that you can't get married because you didn't have trousseau." God Comment: "Then every day, you drive to and from work, even more, unable to find the person of your heart "

They all say that the kidney with long leg hair is good. I look at my leg satisfactorily. "Fxxk, I'm a woman. Why do you want such a good kidney?!!"

A friend suddenly got pregnant. I remember that she said that she didn't want children for recent two years. I asked her what happened. Then she calmly said: "the condoms were out, I was too lazy to buy it, and were expensive."

In Late self-study time, I occupied two seats in the library. A beautiful girl came up and asked, "Is there anybody here?" I hastened to close the book: "Nobody!" She said sweetly, "Thank you." She dragged her chair and left, nostop!

Roommates often change boyfriends recently, and often spend the night outside, you know. Once I went back to my dormitory angrily and said I would never go to a hotel. What did we ask? Then she angrily answered, "That boss asked for my mobile phone number, saying that he could introduce me to business!" ... I was nothing to say about.

A female colleague in the company, who has a 6-year-old daughter she thinks she is proud of, went everywhere and praised her daughter for how good she is. So it turned into a situation like this: all the male colleagues in the company called her mother-in-law when they saw her!

A daughter asked a father what love is. My father said, "Love means that a man has nothing, and a women still marries the man." Daughter then asked what is family love, Dad said: "Family love is that Mom will never let you marry a man who has nothing."

A couple has three children in a row. They are all daughters. In order to sympathize with their wives, the husband said, "Let's not give birth to our wives, boys and girls alike." The wife said:" No! I want to birth! The old lady (I) has to see how many lovers you had in your last life.     " * In Chinese proverb: "The daughter is my father's little lover."

When Learning to drive a car, a new female student is very dumb. As soon as she get on the car, she can't tell right foot from left foot, and she can't remember which one is the throttle and which one is the brake.           When she drives, the coach will bomb us all for fear of danger and fear that we can't control our emotions...           Yesterday, when they came back from a circle outside, the coach got off the bus with a pale face and said to her, "I think I've been waiting for you for 38 years."

Last night, a girl of seven or eight years old on the elevator asked me what time it was! I said in a quiet voice, "Can you see me?" "Uncle, who can't see you so fat?" said the girl with a dull face. Me: "..."